To continue on, I must say that I have a strong exterior and I do not let people in. Very few people know the real me. I have a hard time talking or expressing my feelings. I have thought of suicide many times as I do not see any value or meaning in my life. I take a lot for granted that others see as positive characteristics. I know I have a good heart but I tend to see things as negative or I find a way to hurt people. Suicide is not a good solution but ultimately I still look at it and wonder how. When push comes to shove I really do not think I could actually kill myself. One of my friends saw this and tried to set up an intervention. Fortunately she never went through with it.