Yesterday was very interesting. I’m taking a class on Jewish ethics and our topic yesterday was on suicide. I was a bit hesitant about going but I was really interested in this topic. Being on the edge so much lately I was looking to see the Jewish perspective. It was a great class and it revolved around the idea of willfulness. If the suicide was done willfully the family was not entitled to the normal religious burial rites. But the great thing is that we try and find a way so that it is not considered willful. If you’re not in the right state of mind, like me right now it is not considered willful. Not a good thing for me to hear as this gives me validation on committing suicide. It also says that debt and financial obligations are another way to say it is not willful. It was a very interesting class and in my frame of mind this class just gave me permission to commit suicide. Now I really need to find a purpose or reason to live as I feel so devalued.
Trying to find value