Psychics abound

Dear spirits,

I sat and listened to Rebecca Rosen tonight not really knowing what to think.  I don’t have faith in much nowadays so I figured this was worth a try.   She has a great reputationas a speaker, author and spiritual reader.,.She has a following all over the country. She came to the facility where I work so again I took this for granted as I only had to walk upstairs to hear her. After talking to people I found out that some people drove a few hours to hear her. She spoke last night and tonight and some of the audience were at both shows. After talking to people from last night I was told she was amazing. The crowds were totally different with different energies. For those of you unfamiliar with her she works with spirits and psychic readings. She began the night off explaining her goal for the night followed by a brief introduction of herself. She then did a 10 minute meditation session to get us in the right frame of mind. I found this interesting as this is one of the things I used to teach in my collegiate stress management classes. Again I’m a skeptic but I love this kind of stuff. Having little faith in people and even less trust I had to see for myself what it was all about. She began by talking to people about loved ones they had lost and the messages they were sending down to them now. It was very interesting and a bit wild to see how she found the people in the audience. The weird part to me was about how she talked about suicide and drug overdose in a lot of these cases. Being one that has contemplated suicide a lot, I took an interest. Some of these spirits came back to apologize for what they had done. I see it my way still as you never wanted me when I was here on Earth. So now why are you crying that I’m gone? I hate to admit this but it almost wants me to leave this place sooner. I know the goal here was to make us feel good and to think more positive about the future. These spirits of ours are like our guardian angels watching over us to make sure we are well. Yes I should have come out of this more positive. But my first reaction was wow. It really did make me wonder why I’m here and maybe I should seriously reconsider ending my life. I totally got the wrong message and came out of there feeling more down. I was one of the last to leave and I did get to hear from Rebecca and her staff that this was one of the toughest most energized crowd she has had. So what does that mean? Did we have too much going on for her to get a clear reading? Toward the end she asked the audience if any of us have considered suicide by overdose? I think it was more of a rhetoric question as I know I’d never admit that in front of a group. And yes overdose is one if the things I have considered. I also sat and heard in my mind that my ex wanted me to come stay with him so I’d have to commit suicide. I really came out of there bewildered and even more confused. Do I really belong here? Most people know their purpose or value and I’m still trying to figure mine out. What do I do or think?
Sincerely yours
Psychically confused

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Confusion

Dear world,

Im still very confused and distraught.  I guessed I scared a friend last as she thought I made a poor choice and ended my life.  It turns out I had just turned my phone off as I’m supposed to be off this week.  I was told to think of what impact I would have on others if I did commit suicide.  She said that the impact on others would be irreversible.  My response was if I did end my life that I would make a lot of people happy.  I truly believe a lot of people I know are using me for what I can do for them.  I do not see any value in me as a person and most of my coworkers are just fake, smile at you and pretend they really care about you.  Over the past day or I’ve received quite a few emails, calls and text messages.  I am not sure why?  Do people see that I’m down and depressed? Or are they just confused as to why I’m so quiet and reserved.   I think I’m holding it together for the most part pretty well as most people see me as normal.  I don’t want people to know how I really feel.  It’s just getting to be a lot of things going on.  Work and life in general are overwhelming and it seems as if I can do no right.  I really do try to my best at whatever I’m doing at the time.  Do people really care?  Am I supposed to be here on Earth living life, or am I supposed to just end it all and have no worries?  My mind is constantly running and I cannot get my mind or my brain to stop thinking.  Part of my problem is lack of sleep and that’s not a good thing.  How can I sleep when my mind is so filled with thoughts, most are not good for me and are very negative.  I blame myself for a lot and when I do something good or positive I usually take it for granted.  I just assume  these things should be done and if it’s my job I need to do it.  I continually second guess myself and do not think I can do anything right.  I’m afraid to let too many people how I really feel as I feel like a and this is very hard for me to talk about let alone admit it.  Yes I know most people will get depressed at one point in his or her life, but it seems as if I should be over this by now.  Not a whole lot excites me and I’m very apathetic.    I’m tried to find something that makes me happy but it’s getting harder and harder to do.  I really question everything right now?  Please help me find a reason to stay alive.  Will anyone really miss me?  I’m thinking that some people will be upset but I see more happy faces if I’m gone.  Things do not seem to get better.
Sincerely yours
Truly confused

I Have Been Harrassed, TorturedAndTakenAdvantageOf For My While Life.  In Order For Me ToKeep My Sanity And Literally To StaY I AlivE I Will Be Blogging To Get These Feelings Of My Chest.  My College Motto Was Life Sucks, AndITruly BElieve That Was My Life And My Future.  MyFriends And Family Used Me And IThought They Were All Genuine.  But Boy Was I Mistaken.